Reviewed by: Greg Mueller

Greg's Score:
3.38

Plot/Story

2

Characters

2

Acting

5

Cinematography

6

Production Design

6

Soundtrack

3

Execution

2

Emotional Impact

1


Review:

Boring, bland, slow, stale. The acting is fine (there is one exception I'll bring up in a bit) and I guess the singing is okay (same exception). The sets are acceptable and there are no glaring cinematography issues. There is nothing spectacular about the movie. It is the most saccharine, cookie-cutter musical for moms. The screenplay is full of unbelievable characters making illogical and irrational decisions. Every song has overly corny lyrics and sung in the most uninteresting way. I understand that it's a musical so you have to hold it at a distance from some expectations, but it is a film; it is not a play. As a film, it tries really hard to be a safe, feel-good movie with a message, but it is so wildly over-simplified and watered down, which is especially surprising since it feels so long. It's almost two hours long, but it feels like it is easily over three. It is so slow and drags it's feet through 20 minute musical numbers and 20 minute dances breaks featuring bad and lazy choreography. I can credit Nikki Blonsky for being a decent singer and an acceptable actress, but her dancing is bad. In general the dancing is wildly underwhelming. The worst part, without any question, far and away is John Travolta. I saw a quote from Dana Stevens of Slate Magazine that said "How you feel about Hairspray will depend entirely on your reaction to this performance." I found Travlota's portrayal as the worst acted, most tacky, and tone-deaf I have seen in a long time. His acting is awful and his singing is worse. He is absolutely terrible and it shows the worst in whatever kind of accent he is trying to do. The fact that they sought out Travolta for the role souly because of the success of Grease is a perfect example of the kind of movie they have made. Without ruining any plot details, they managed to make a generic movie in every way. There is nothing to praise and (other than everything John Travolta does) nothing to hate. Hairspray is milquetoast through and through. Nothing is memorable; not the songs, not the acting, not the story (which is on par with that terrible Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad which cured racism with a can of Pepsi). Aside from everything Travolta, I won't remember any of this in 24 hours.

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