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Greg Mueller

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7.88
Plot/Story
4
Characters
9
Acting
9
Cinematography
8
Soundtrack
8
Production Design
8
Execution
9
Emotional Impact
8

Full Review Page

A Dog's Life

As seems to be the theme with Chaplin films, A Dog's Life is more of a series of scenes than a true story. Those scenes are hilarious and heartfelt, but there isn't any through line narrative. That said, this is another home run from Chaplin. Somehow is simple humor is timeless and hits a lot more consistently than most contemporary comedies. I do wish they had been gentler with the dog though.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




4.38
Plot/Story
4
Characters
5
Acting
7
Cinematography
7
Soundtrack
3
Production Design
4
Execution
3
Emotional Impact
2

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A Serbian Film

I wanted to be bombarded with blood and gore, but instead I got 100 minutes of try-hard shock value. It's shot well, the acting is fine, and there are a few cool effects, but mostly it's thirty minutes of boring, repetitive dialog and then seventy minutes of shock for shock's sake. I'm not buying any of the alleged political commentary; they wanted to make a shocking movie at all costs, even at the expense of narrative and coherence. There are time where it becomes unintentionally funny because everything you are seeing is just so outrageous and unrealistic. I'm not even sure who I can recommend this movie to because the story isn't very compelling, it's not very horrifying or thrilling for a horror/thriller, and there aren't enough quality effects to make it noteworthy. It's what an "edgy" thirteen year old would write to try and get suspended.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




3.88
Plot/Story
2
Characters
4
Acting
7
Cinematography
5
Soundtrack
5
Production Design
3
Execution
3
Emotional Impact
2

Full Review Page

Wonder Woman 1984

I really have no idea what they were trying to do here. Wonder Woman 1984 doesn't feel like a sequel to the first movie; this feels totally different. I do love the color pallet (I'm a sucker for neon), but nothing else they introduce helps at all. The CGI is garbage (especially the lasso) and a huge downgrade from the first. Ironically, Wonder Woman is the least interesting character here and gets significantly less screen time than the antagonists. The story fall apart very fast and largely makes no sense, being littered with plot holes. Chris Pine is brought back in a way that creates tons of issues, mostly of the "Wait, how does he know how to _______ and why does he _______?" variety. The humor misses every time and it seems like the only thing they carry over from the first movie is long, unnecessary fashion montages. Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal do well with what they are given, but Pedro's son is a terrible actor and actively ruins any scenes he is in. The terrible story is a huge issue, but personally, my biggest is how little Wonder Woman we get. What I mean is, Wonder Woman is in the movie, Diana Prince is on screen, but there is very little WONDER WOMAN to enjoy. I was hoping to at least get some fun scenes of Wonder Woman being a bad ass and just being awesome. There is a story line reason introduced later into the film for why she's lame, but even before then she was never firing on all cylinders. Hell, the Lasso gets more action than Wonder Woman does, it it's the worst looking thing in the movie. There are tons of "Wait, what?" moments due to the terrible story and many groan worthy lines. Wonder Woman 1984 isn't any fun and that was the only thing I was actively looking for. The first Wonder Woman movie was pretty okay; it wasn't good, but it's fine. There were plenty of scenes that were a blast to watch and Wonder Woman just felt cool. This time, she feels muted. Instead, we get Pedro's character who is an interesting character, but the movie is constantly breaking and rewriting its own rules and we get morals and platitudes shoved in our face. It's two and a half hours and the pacing makes it really drag quite often. A lot of my story issues fall in spoiler territory, so I won't elaborate, but I'm seeing a lot of people bringing up the same issues I have with Steve Trevor's resurrection and Maxwell Lord's arc. Somewhere in here is a salvageable movie, but it's way too long and filled with pointless and meandering scenes. All I wanted was to have fun here, but it's a bore. I kind of hated Aquaman, but at least it was fun; it's terrible on every front, but there were neat action scenes and we got to see Aquaman kick butt. I don't remember anything significant in this movie that could affect future films, so I would recommend just watching the first one again.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




6.63
Plot/Story
7
Characters
4
Acting
7
Cinematography
6
Soundtrack
7
Production Design
6
Execution
9
Emotional Impact
7

Full Review Page

I'll Be Home for Christmas

I saw this in the theater 22 years ago and all I really remembered was JTT abandoned in the desert in a Santa costume with the hat and beard glued on. To be fair, I was eight and this isn't a movie that I'm going to still recall much about in a month. I did remember correctly that the main story here is that JTT wakes up in the desert with no money and has to try and get home for Christmas (much as the title implies). I remember liking it, but I think I got more out of it 22 years later. It's a little generous to call this a family film; it's really more of a teen film. There is a side-plot with JTT and his relationship with Mary Camden that makes JTT's character insufferably bad. He's an unlikable jerk who doesn't really change at any point. I like a lovable butthead just as much as anyone else, but beyond his little quips, JTT is just a self-centered egotist for 90 minutes. He is pretty damn funny though and most of the jokes land. Surprisingly, for a 90's movie starring two 90's teen heart-throbs, this film aged pretty well up until the very 90's N*Sync cover of "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays". Before that, I was never like, "Oh boy, that is so 90's!" like I kind of wanted to. I bought the Disney Movie Club exclusive Blu Ray (because that is somehow the only Blu Ray release of this film) from Ebay just to relive my 90's childhood and there is nothing about this film that screams 90's. If I showed this to my sister and didn't ever mention what a big deal we all though JTT was going to be after Home Improvement, I could probably convince her that this is a new film. There are no dated references, the acting is all prefect, the humor is timeless, and the movie flows very well. I kind of shocked to see how low this movie is rated everywhere. Beyond JTT's character not growing at all, I loved this movie. The first fifteen minutes or so are kind of slow, but as soon as we chuck JTT into the desert, the movie becomes great. I can't tell you the last time I laughed out loud at a movie, but this one got me multiple times. It's quick and dumb, but it hilarious. Whatever, I love it.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




3.25
Plot/Story
3
Characters
3
Acting
2
Cinematography
5
Soundtrack
7
Production Design
3
Execution
2
Emotional Impact
1

Full Review Page

I'm Dreaming of a White Doomsday

If you ever wished that The Road had a twenty dollar budget, much worse acting, a Christmas theme, zero action, and was shot on a camcorder, well I have a movie for you! I'm Dreaming of a White Doomsday is a post-apocalyptic movie that makes zero sense and has very little as far as plot or character development that follows a family in what appears to be a residential storm cellar full of holiday decorations that they just added a wheel to the door of. It's incredibly clear that this movie is pieced together with whatever they could find and it leads to tons of stupid little mistakes and nonsensical scenes. The mom goes out to find food. She gears up with her gas mask and a trowel and we see her check garden sheds and greenhouses for food. What does she expect to find in a shed? Are they going to eat potting soil and plastic cups? Then she finally enters a house, where we only see her check the fridge/freezer and the bathroom. There is zero explanation of what event caused the apocalypse or how long ago it took place, but 100% it's been long enough that anything she could possibly find in the fridge isn't going to be edible. Why isn't she checking the cabinets or the pantry? We see they have multiple guns in their cellar thing, so why is she heading out with a gardening trowel to defend herself? Why are all the windows so clean and none are broken? Where is all the lighting coming from? Certainly the few candles they have aren't doing that and there isn't enough natural light. Putting all that aside, the severe lack of plot is the biggest issue. It's a post-apocalypse movie and we get exactly zero fun post-apocalypse scenes: zero monsters or savages, no destroyed cities, no anything. I understand that this is an incredibly bleak movie and for some people, that is all they need, but I need plot and character development. I need to see the family doing things. It's only like 70 minutes, so it's not like there is a lot of time to do things, but it feels so long and empty. There is really nothing here to appreciate: the acting isn't great, there aren't any memorable scenes, the ending makes zero sense. I didn't hate the movie, but I really, really didn't like it. I loved The Road and I love what others have called "Feel-Bad" movies, but White Doomsday doesn't give me a reason to care about anyone and the scope is microscopic.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




5.13
Plot/Story
2
Characters
4
Acting
8
Cinematography
8
Soundtrack
7
Production Design
8
Execution
3
Emotional Impact
1

Full Review Page

Before Sunrise

Before Sunrise is a hundred minutes of a man and a woman talking to each other. There is really no other plot; they just walk around Vienna together and chat. The acting is fine and there is some cool cinematography sometimes, but the rest is a bore. I can't even get into their relationship, because it does not feel like a conversation; it feels like two people alternating giving monologues. Ethan Hawke will say some philosophical bullshit or a boring story from his life and then Julie Delpy responds with her own speech about philosophy or her childhood. They have okay chemistry, but nothing else feels real. I was begging for something to happen or for them to broach something interesting or substantial, but they never do. I don't even get a real sense of their relationship developing, as topics aren't consistently digging deeper and neither character is really likable or relatable. There were a handful of times that they talked about something that caught my attention, but then Hawke will quickly offer a story about being 12 and they lose me again. I've not seen the other two Before films, so I can only view this as an individual experience and my experience had me skipping back thirty minutes because I fell asleep. It's not a RomCom and it's not a drama; it's like two high school seniors playing grown up giving monologues.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




6
Plot/Story
4
Characters
5
Acting
10
Cinematography
9
Soundtrack
7
Production Design
8
Execution
3
Emotional Impact
2

Full Review Page

Antichrist

There are certainly elements of being a movie here, but it's a close call. Von Trier sets the tone real quick by giving us a close up of Willem Dafoe's dick penetrating Charlotte Gainsbourg seven seconds in. From there, things get so much worse. To its credit, there is some great cinematography and there are some interesting ideas here depending on how much you want to analyze the film. There are scenes and images that are etched into my brain and I'll remember for years (although some I wish I could forget) whether for their dark beauty or disturbing gross-out/shock value. Antichrist is constantly vacillating between mind-numbingly dull or pretentious scenes and shocking ones that literally had me sitting there with my mouth hanging open. I am not opposed to shock value and even unreasonable levels of gore, but these scenes were really the only times I was totally interested. Most of the time, I was confused or annoyed. Antichrist manages to be incredibly dark, yet pretty cheesy at times and it's the worst combination. If we look at the plot isolated from everything else, it's an interesting story that I would love to see, but Von Trier is a nut and tells it in the most obtuse and overworked way. I know that "pretentious" is the big no-no word and I'm showing my normie badge here a little, but Antichrist is really pretentious. I don't mind that the movie is incredibly dark and symbolic, but it's to the point where it's not really clicking as a film. Obviously there is an audience for this movie, but it's just not working for me

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




4.75
Plot/Story
4
Characters
5
Acting
6
Cinematography
5
Soundtrack
5
Production Design
2
Execution
5
Emotional Impact
6

Full Review Page

Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

Perhaps this is me unknowingly donning my nostalgia goggles (I owned and loved every one of the Olsen Twins VHS tapes, whether Olsen & Olsen Mystery Agency or one of those awkward "party" movies), but DDTT is pretty okay. The plot is pretty cliche,the Olsen Twins were only ever capable of over-the-top hammy acting, the effects are terrible (even for 1993), and it's a made for TV movie so temper your expectations. I loved how ridiculous the plot is and they give the twins some pretty funny lines. In no way is this a good film and if you are only looking for auteur cinema, there is nothing here for you. DDTT is a goofy family movie that aired on ABC in '93 and it shows in every possible way. Maybe you have to have received your Olsen Twins inoculation sometime before Billboard Dad to appreciate them, but I love their brand of movie.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




7.5
Plot/Story
7
Characters
9
Acting
9
Cinematography
8
Soundtrack
8
Production Design
8
Execution
5
Emotional Impact
6

Full Review Page

Trick 'r Treat

I've been sitting on this movie for months, just waiting for Halloween to come around for the perfect time to finally check it out. I can definitively say that it's the best horror movie I've watched this month, but it has some issues. The acting is great and there are tons of people that I recognized that would go on to bigger things after this: Anna Paquin (right after portraying Rouge and a year before True Blood), Dylan Baker (who I couldn't separate from his character in Happiness), Britt McKillip (grown up from playing Reggie on Dead Like Me), and Jean-Luc Bilodeau (five years before Baby Daddy). The cinematography is fine and I didn't notice any production issues. The one issue I did have is how the story is told. Trick 'r Treat is a handful of connected stories (almost an anthology) within a small town and character overlapping. I love anthology movies and each of the stories individually have a lot to celebrate, but the timeline is broken. We get one bit and then we flash to "earlier" and "earlier" and eventually "later" but the stories don't line up that way. There were a couple "You said this takes place earlier than what we saw, so how can he be dead?" kind of moments and the links between the story need more explanation. The biggest loose end is Sam, the most well known piece of this movie (and the only thing I'd seen before hand). I don't know who/what/why he is or what his goal is. There is a little bit about his legend in the first story, but we don't get more. I don't even remember them telling us that his/its name is Sam. I like when he popped up, but but each time it raised more questions. There were some fun twists in the stories and I was never entirely sure where I was headed, but none are individually noteworthy. Trick 'r Treat was a great movie to watch, but it's not a great movie; it's good and it's a fun time, but it's certainly flawed.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




2.5
Plot/Story
3
Characters
2
Acting
2
Cinematography
4
Soundtrack
4
Production Design
3
Execution
1
Emotional Impact
1

Full Review Page

Robert

Imagine if the Child's Play movies had terrible acting, were incredibly boring, and we never saw Chuckie do anything. This movie is Robert. Aside from the fact that it says it's "based on a true story" and it in no way touches the actual story of the Robert doll, this movie is a travesty. There are exactly zero likable characters so I really couldn't care any less about anyone's fate. The story is repetitive and uneventful; most of the time is spent on the husband and wife arguing, which is the most uninteresting aspect. the most egregious issue with this movie is that Robert does almost nothing. We never see the doll move while all of him is in frame: we see his head turn, we see his perspective as he runs, and we see objects be moved or held by him, but we don't see him actually h old anything. There are tons of stupid little things like the maid "cleaning" the bathroom, but she only wipes the counters while holding a spray bottle (that she never sprays) and doesn't address the incredibly smudged mirrors, the paint of Roberts shoes just disappears, and no one ever tries to fight back against the doll. The best part of the Child's Play movies are Chuckie; he was a real character and is integral to the film. Robert is just a plot device; you could replace him with anything and the movie doesn't change. From the very first second of the movie, you can tell how ow budget and poorly made it is. Other than the physical appearance of he doll, there is nothing creepy or scary here. Even in Annabelle, we get a strong sense that something is wrong with the doll, but Robert is just a weird looking doll. It's even a little of a stretch to call this a Robert the Doll movie, as it has nothing to do with the "real" Robert the doll other than that it is about a doll named Robert. Obviously both stories are fake, but the "real" story is much more interesting than this paint-by-numbers movie that uses exclusively shades of grey. It's not even a "Good Bad" movie that you can get some fun out of laughing at, it's just a very boring movie with a lame script, terrible actors and none of the things I wanted out of a killer doll movie.

By : Greg Mueller| Date : 3 years ago




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