Review:

If you ever wished that The Road had a twenty dollar budget, much worse acting, a Christmas theme, zero action, and was shot on a camcorder, well I have a movie for you! I'm Dreaming of a White Doomsday is a post-apocalyptic movie that makes zero sense and has very little as far as plot or character development that follows a family in what appears to be a residential storm cellar full of holiday decorations that they just added a wheel to the door of. It's incredibly clear that this movie is pieced together with whatever they could find and it leads to tons of stupid little mistakes and nonsensical scenes. The mom goes out to find food. She gears up with her gas mask and a trowel and we see her check garden sheds and greenhouses for food. What does she expect to find in a shed? Are they going to eat potting soil and plastic cups? Then she finally enters a house, where we only see her check the fridge/freezer and the bathroom. There is zero explanation of what event caused the apocalypse or how long ago it took place, but 100% it's been long enough that anything she could possibly find in the fridge isn't going to be edible. Why isn't she checking the cabinets or the pantry? We see they have multiple guns in their cellar thing, so why is she heading out with a gardening trowel to defend herself? Why are all the windows so clean and none are broken? Where is all the lighting coming from? Certainly the few candles they have aren't doing that and there isn't enough natural light. Putting all that aside, the severe lack of plot is the biggest issue. It's a post-apocalypse movie and we get exactly zero fun post-apocalypse scenes: zero monsters or savages, no destroyed cities, no anything. I understand that this is an incredibly bleak movie and for some people, that is all they need, but I need plot and character development. I need to see the family doing things. It's only like 70 minutes, so it's not like there is a lot of time to do things, but it feels so long and empty. There is really nothing here to appreciate: the acting isn't great, there aren't any memorable scenes, the ending makes zero sense. I didn't hate the movie, but I really, really didn't like it. I loved The Road and I love what others have called "Feel-Bad" movies, but White Doomsday doesn't give me a reason to care about anyone and the scope is microscopic.